Category: singles

from a relationship to single

Single Again: Learning How to Move On After a Break-Up

Back to Basics A.K.A. Going Back to Being Single

They say that singles have the most fun in life. Well, perhaps this is the perfect opportunity for me to experience that. All my life, I’ve always been committed to something or with someone.

Back in college, I was so intent on earning a degree while working part-time in a restaurant. After I got off from the university, I immediately applied for a job, planned a career path; and then, later on, got into a relationship with Troy which almost led to marriage – almost, but not quite.

Starting Over

My relationship with Troy ended in a major disaster. I never knew that calling off the wedding drags a trail of problems and other issues. The minute I stepped out of Troy’s apartment and closed the door behind me, I knew there was no turning back.

To start over, I went home to my parents’ house. I started searching for my own personal space where I can rebuild my life, but my mind backs into perspective and realigns my elements.

Soon enough, I found a suitable place and moved to my very own apartment. I also started to catch up with my friends. I realized just how much I’ve been missing out on them.

For the first time in years, I felt what it’s like to be unattached – with nobody asking me what time I’d be home and nobody to cook dinner for. It was quite liberating, but it felt strange. I started to wonder what my life would be like in the next few years.

Will I meet someone new and start dating again? Or, would I stay single and die as an old woman alone? I was anxious but also quite hopeful that things will start falling into place in time.

Getting Used to It

Being single again after 4 years, plus the challenges of living solo takes a lot of getting used to. I was still in the adjustment phase and struggling to get in tune with my new life when the problems came rushing in.

And then I found myself wondering if I’ll ever achieve a state of peacefulness and calmness in my life. 


The Return of the Cheater

First things first; out of the blue, Troy appeared in my front door like a lovesick puppy begging me to come back to him. If I hadn’t been able to quantify my self-worth properly, I might be sleeping next to him again by now with all my plans for the future dissolving into thin air.

But I knew better than running back to his cheating arms. And when I said that “it’s over”, I meant every word. So I asked him to stop hanging around my front door and along my driveway because he’s blocking the traffic. I guess that’s the best way to define our closure.

Missing the Tire Changer

During the first few months that I’ve been living alone, the only time that I missed Troy was whenever something was broken or not working properly. It first happened one morning when I was running late for work and noticed that I had a flat tire.

If Troy had been there, he could have changed it in an instant. But since he’s no longer around, I had to ask a co-worker to give me a ride and later on called my brother-in-law to help me deal with the flat tire. 

Soon enough, I was already driving my car to work with all the tires in good condition. I wondered while driving; who needs a boyfriend who can change tires when there are a handful of other solutions for such problems?

Missing the Handyman

The second time I missed Troy was when my shower head was broken and water started pouring out all over the bathroom. Troy is an efficient self-taught handyman who can fix almost everything. Only that time, the great Troy wasn’t around anymore.

Missing the House Painter

The third time I missed Troy was when I enrolled in a yoga class. I felt that my inner peace and sense of balance could be enhanced if I had the perfect color scheme within my apartment.

I remembered how much Troy and I had enjoyed painting the walls in his apartment way back before he started his cheating spree; and the look of satisfaction on our faces over the outcome.

Since I cannot paint my apartment on my own, I hired painters Miami that fellow yoga enthusiasts recommended to me. 

They did a pretty good job and my apartment looked bigger and brighter with the new color scheme. I chose light blue for my bedroom walls for calmness and serenity; yellow for the kitchen walls for happiness and optimism; and off-white for the living room for versatility and a sense of wholeness and completeness.

After seeing the finished product, I began to ask myself; who needs a good house painter for a boyfriend when I can hire professional painters?